WeVerb12 – 3

It’s the end of another year – how’d that happen so quickly? It’s time to reflect. Well, it’s time to be asleep, but I have a lot of things running through my head right now, so sleep just isn’t an option. I have to work today, which is also not fun, and since I feel much better, working from home, while very appealing, is probably not an option. I guess. I just have to make sure my sick time was used for Thursday. I couldn’t add it myself.

Anyway, I’m gonna cram as many as I can in this post, and maybe, if I have time, make another post or two to finish this out. I said I was going to do it, so I’m going to. It is something I’m doing for myself, something I want to do. I should be able to handle that, right?

The first real snow, taken with my new camera
The first real snow, taken with my new camera

11. spend/save [LIVE]: Are you richer or poorer this year, compared to last year?

This is an easy one – richer. I make more in a month than I did in all of last year. Of course, I have some bill collector threatening to take me to court to pay a bill they bought from one of my creditors, but that wasn’t unexpected.  It’s going to get interesting.

12. toss [GROW]: 2012 was the last time for ________________

I don’t know. There are things I’d like to never do again, or never not do again (that totally made sense in my head), but I can’t pick out one that will absolutely never happen. The things I’d really like to never happen again – uncertainty, disappointment, loss – are things that cannot be controlled.

13. associate [LISTEN]: What blog/book/article spoke to you the most in 2012?

Oddly, this one’s easy. This blog post spoke to me. It’s about belief, and how hard it can be to shake, even when all of the evidence says otherwise. It helps me better understand how logic and belief can contradict one another in the same head.

2011-02-12 Bighorn Sheep Day GoG 030asm
Garden of the Gods North Gateway, with Pikes Peak in the background

14. walk [LIVE]: Describe the path to a favorite place of yours to walk in 2012. What’s meaningful about the place or the journey?

Hmm. Well, I don’t do much walking. Partly because I don’t have time, partly because I’m out of the habit. But there are places I enjoy walking, and one I keep going back to is Eden Park, here in Cincinnati. While I was in Colorado, it was the main path of Garden of the Gods, Colorado Springs. Both are city-owned parks, both are very popular with locals and visitors, and both are beautiful and historic. For me, both are just peaceful. They are great places to escape, to relax, to people-watch. There are, of course, times to avoid. For Garden of the Gods, pretty much any gorgeous sunny day is going to be a zoo after 11. For Eden Park, the Overlook is a Sunday hangout for people in the area; has been for as long as I can remember. It’s just crowded, and hard to find a place to park, but when it’s warm, it smells delicious while all of the grills are in use.

15. quote [GROW]: What inspirational quote would you associate with this past year for you?

Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t tend to do inspirational quotes. It’s not my thing. I generally find them trite and almost meaningless when taken out of context. And they’re usually taken out of context. They’re just lovely words that have a meaning for certain people, in certain situations. There are quotes that speak to me, like Galileo’s “I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.” That one’s been my battle cry for most of this year, while mindless sheep ignore the evidence of their own eyes. But that’s getting political, and that’s not what this is about. I suppose closest I can get to a quote that fits well with this year is “Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.”

16. replicate [CREATE]: What were you inspired to create/make this year based on something else? (i.e. a pin from pinterest, recipe from a friend, etc.)

Nothing. This year was about learning how to function again. I didn’t have the energy to try things i liked or that interested me. No, wait, that’s not completely true…THIS! This WeVerb thing. I’m doing this because I saw it on another friend’s blog. There’ve been other things I’ve done, like some photographs I’ve taken, but I was going along for the ride, I wasn’t necessarily inspired to do so. And there have been other groups I’ve joined because they looked interesting, and games I’ve played because they looked fun, but I didn’t stick with them because I got bored. So, there we are. This, I was inspired to do from someone else, and this, I’m finishing.

17. thank [HOPE]: Write that thank you note that you’ve been meaning to send this year… or would like to send next year…

Hmm. Thank you note. That’s pretty narrow. I have things for which to be thankful, and people to whom I owe my thanks, but I’ve done that. There are other notes, though, that I’d like to right, notes that are not thank yous, but more…acknowledgements of what that person or persons mean to me. I did manage to get one sent off earlier this year, so that was cool. I was so impressed, I ripped open the envelope and typed up what I had written, so I could have a record of it for myself. It was really pretty good…

18. soak [LISTEN]: What have you soaked in this year? (Baths, sun, ideas?) How did it affect your mentality?

That’s a bit personal. Too personal for this. I do have an answer, but not one I’m willing to share publicly. Moving on…

19. exercise [LIVE]: How did you live actively in 2012? What will you change in 2013?

I’m working on this one. Once, I used to work out regularly. I walked 2 -3 miles every day, or every other day, I did 100 crunches, 50 push-ups from my knees, and I paid attention to what I ate. And I looked goooood. Then one day, I had to take a medication to control my blood pressure. I regained 50 lbs in just under 3 months. My co-workers thought I was pregnant. The blood pressure had elevated because of my Polycystic Kidney Disease (don’t look at images while you’re eating). I hadn’t changed anything else. I gave up. Now, this April, I participated in a walk for MS, for my sister and in memory of my mother – I was the only one walking for her – and I regretted it. Three miles. It’s really not that far. Unless your walking causes your gigantic kidneys to bounce up and down with every step. I was in so much pain, I could barely move. And for two days, along with the excruciating pain, every step I took made me nauseous. No more long walks for me. I do take the steps at work, at least when I’m going up, and I don’t look for the closest parking space I can find when I’m shopping, but I still have a bit of work to do. But, as noted before, I was a bit more consumed with functioning. This time of year, all my energy goes into that, so the extra stuff, like eating properly, takes a back seat. Some days, I get so nauseous from the PKD that I wouldn’t eat at all, if not for the fact that if I don’t, it actually makes me feel even worse. So, right now, I’m working on functioning. I’m not there, yet, but I am actively pursuing that.

20: reminisce [GROW]: What distant memory/time did you find yourself longing for in 2012?

This was a very nostalgic year for me. Thanks to Facebook, I’ve reconnected with a lot of people I knew from high school. And I went to a pretty cool high school. It was an arts magnet, with a very high academic standard. I’ve spent a lot of this year longing for those times. They weren’t all perfect – I rarely got cast in anything, and I was never a soloist, and I gave up on my writing because I didn’t like the teacher I had (the second one, not the first one, she was AWESOME), and I wasn’t even close to popular. But man, I did love it there. I was accepted for who I was. I wasn’t picked on for having a white mother. I wasn’t picked on for being smaller or smarter than average. I wasn’t picked on for my hair or my skin color. That’s not to say I wasn’t picked on, I was. It’s reality, c’mon. But I wasn’t picked on for the things I had been for so long.

Eleven more. I think I will put those in a subsequent post. This one’s full.

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