Meaning

I thought I’d try early morning again, since that seems to be when my brain is the least cluttered. Right this moment, I’m trying to hang on to a dream I remember from shortly before I woke up. I was in the street with a bunch of people, and we had all of our stuff out on display for some reason. I don’t recall it being a yard sale or festival or anything, we just had our stuff out. One of my friends from college was there, too. As far as I know, she’d never featured into any of my dreams before. Anyway, she’s a sweet, adorable person, bubbly, with a wicked sense of humor. For as long as I’ve known her, she’s been married.

Crack in Time
This is just crack in the fabric of time I spotted over Palmer Park, Colorado. Whovians should recognize it…

So we’re out in the street, talking about our stuff, a couple of dogs walking in between everyone, when a – hmm, what’s a good collective noun for this – swarm of witches, traditional Halloween witches, black pointy hats, flying on brooms, cackling, swoops by and lifts a few things. Well, that was irritating, but they were gone before we could do anything. Just as things are getting back to normal, another, larger swarm swoops in, but they don’t just fly through; some of them hover, taunt us, threaten us, take more of our things. We try to stand up to them. The first person – my friend from college, in fact – is struck down with a blast from the hand of one; we are momentarily cowed. Another dismounts and comes over to where I’m standing, takes something with some meaning to me, and gleefully smashes it on the table in front of me. I object, quite loudly.

This angers them. Instead of lashing out at me directly, however, they take one of the dogs away. A gurney covered in steaks – good cuts, too – is wheeled into the middle of the street. Beneath the steaks is a person. It’s starting to fade a bit, so I don’t remember if it was one of them, to be resurrected, or one of us on the street. Might have changed from the person who was struck down to one of them to be revived. The dogs that are left are curious, because there’s the smell of fresh meat all over the place. We, on the other hand, are horrified. The person on the table is not whole, but will be cobbled together from all those steaks, and a brain from the dog they captured.

Then it gets weird.

That’s the last dream I remember. Usually when I can remember my dreams, it means I didn’t sleep well. Some of the dreams I recall are just too weird to understand, and seem they can be nothing more than my mind roaming free; others, like this one, seem to be open to interpretation. Unable to get my mind to shut up and let me go back to sleep – really pretty common for me – I let it go, bubbling away, determining if there is any meaning that can be extracted, and deciphering what that might be.

The last dream I recall that had me thinking included a very pregnant person. Extremely pregnant. Like a month overdue. The baby was more than large enough to be born; looking at her belly you could see its feet and legs and elbows and head whenever it moved. I can’t remember the rest of the dream, other than to say there was a bit of relief when she finally gave birth. What I can remember is it was mentioned that this could represent a major change in my life, something that has already drastically altered my future, or is about to. I can’t remember who it was that was pregnant, either, but I recall it being someone important, and the fact that it was a huge event, and very, very late, factored into the conversations. Then there was buzzing again and I rolled over and woke up. Get congested when I lie down, makes me snore a little. I sleep on my stomach, so Breathe Right strips don’t really work for me. The real thing lasted longer than the store brand ones I tried – those didn’t even make it to lights out – but eventually, they do come off long before I wake up. Also, there’s my window air conditioner. Small house, it shakes the whole place when the fan speed is high enough – medium. That could also be causing the buzzing.

Alms Sky_0118a
Sunshine after a storm

But I digress.* The pregnant woman possibly means a major change, one that is traumatic and positive, and incredibly past due. The one with the witches means there is something stopping me from going forward, something I perceive as unavoidable, inevitable, powerful, and not very nice. Both of those do apply in my life, quite easily. It’s pretty obvious that it’s something that’s been preying on my mind for some time. I do have a very good idea what both of them are referring to; it’s a tricky situation. There are so many things involved, so many moving pieces, that “just do it” doesn’t work. I have to try and prepare for this future that is coming, heeding the warnings of my past. Money would help. A lot.

So I suppose in the immortal words of Roonil Wazlib, I’m gonna suffer, but I’ll be happy about it.

I’m off work this coming week. Friday is a holiday anyway (Independence Day), so I only used three vacation days, and a day I got for donating at or above a particular minimum to ArtsWave. That’s not why I did it, the day is just a bonus far as I’m concerned. Even though we have a vibrant arts community here, every little bit helps. This donation is the way I can.  That reminds me, I need to see if this also means discounted tickets to a new opera that’s being performed here in a couple weeks. If I see no other this season – and I’m broke enough that I probably won’t – I want to see this one.

Well, whaddaya know? Writing first thing in the morning does help. Less than an hour^, and I believe I’m done. When I wait and do it later in the day, it takes hours. That’s a large part of why I haven’t posted on Wednesday in a while; by the time I get home from work, I’m exhausted, fresh out of energy. But now, my day is just beginning, as is my week. New choices to be made, new opportunities to explore, time to rest, to recover, to visit the Museum Center. I want to see the Diana exhibit; I really didn’t want to go on a weekend. I doubt it would be as crowded as it was for the Dead Sea Scrolls – thanks to the kindness of church friends and a cancelled date, I got to go not only with a group of friends and people I knew, but with a very knowledgeable leader who gave us more than the audio tour ever could – but I expect it will still be crowded. Other than that, I have plans for Friday morning/afternoon, and Saturday is going to be very busy indeed. Two grill-outs, one right after the other.

One day this week, I’d like to greet the sunrise from one of our parks. I’m in a valley here, so I don’t see the sun until it’s well up. The moon, either. Just light filtered through trees, showering us with what’s left after traveling over higher, often wealthier, places.

_________________________

*I had to say it at least once
^Not counting the proofreading and editing. Yes, I do proofread before I post.

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